AS ANY MOTORCYCLE RIDER CAN TELL YOU, IT'S NOT "IF", IT'S "WHEN"!!!!

Actor George Clooney has a fractured rib. I've never had one of those, but I'm told that it's a very painful experience. Clooney's girlfriend, Sarah Larson has a broken foot. Trying to walk on (only) one foot is another injury I haven't experienced, but I'm told that it too, is a very painful experience.

The body parts breakage occurred because of a motorcycle accident. Clooney was driving and Larson was a passenger when the driver of a car signaled a left-hand turn, but turned right and hit Clooney's motorcycle in New Jersey. Clooney has a new film coming out soon, but don't look for him to be promoting it much, because we're told that he will be "laid up" for awhile. Clooney and Larson were both wearing helmets, which protects the head, but when you go down, protection for any other part of your body (unless you're wearing head to toe armor) is nonexistent.

And trust me folks, if you're a motorcycle rider, you will go down!

I rode cycles of various sizes that were freeway legal (off and on) for more than 25 years. My most memorable (going down) experience (until my last one) was when while driving in the rain and wearing rain gear, the car in front of me decided stop immediately because of a squirrel that had decided to run across the street. When I hit my brakes, my bike went into a skid and slid sideways until coming to a full stop. My first reaction after stopping, was to say, "Safe!" I was okay. Some rain gear got ripped up, but I was able to get up and drive away.

The second most memorable experience was when I couldn't understand why my bike immediately stopped on Ventura Boulevard and I went over the top of the bike. I got bloodied up a little in that accident, but I got the bike fixed and I continued to drive. I found out that the problem was a bike malfunction involving the brakes when the same thing happened many months later. Early one morning while on my way to work, I was entering a freeway off-ramp, the brakes locked and I woke up in the hospital. When the paramedics and doctors all told me I was lucky I hadn't been killed, I gave up my cycling and haven't ridden since.

Gang, motorcycles of any kind are a lot of fun. I did the freeway thing of going over a hundred miles an hour with no helmet. The feeling of the wind in your hair is indescribable. I was against the mandatory helmet law for a long time and I didn't wear one until law enforcement folks started giving us all tickets. If I hadn't been wearing a helmet the last time I went down, I wouldn't be telling you this story because I'd be dead.

In conclusion, I'll never tell anyone they shouldn't ride a motorcycle. But I will tell them what George Clooney has learned. It's not a matter of if you'll go down. It's only a matter of when! And how often!

BRITNEY SPEARS AND LEE HAZLEWOOD:

The late Lee Hazlewood was a prolific songwriter who became publicly well known because of some duets he sang with Nancy Sinatra. I met and had a very long conversation with Hazlewood one night in the early 80's in what used to be a legendary Hollywood restaurant/watering hole known as "Martoni's". He was a fascinating guy and we stayed in touch for many years until his health problems prevailed.

I find myself being reminded of Hazlewood because of this latest Britney Spears story. Hazlewood wrote a song that was titled, "I've Been Down So Long, It Looks Like Up To Me".

This past Friday, Britney Spears was charged with hit and run and driving without a license. This happened in early August, but for whatever reason, charges weren't filed until Friday. If convicted, Britney Spears is looking at a jail sentence of (possibly) six months.

And this would be on top of everything else that she's done wrong lately.

I get the feeling she's going through the same things that Lee Hazlewood wrote about in his song. Britney, Britney, Britney. The Las Vegas thing, the ex-husband who's....Well we've all figured out who and what he is...Playboy not being interested in taking nude pictures of you except on a cut rate basis, etc., etc.

Britney, oh Britney! How does it look down there? Isn't it time, actually past time to work on behavior that would be an up? Because Britney, if you can't figure this out on your own, I'll say it. Britney Spears, you can't go any lower! Anything else in that direction (for you) would simply be considered as flat line!

"RESIDENT EVIL":

The film "Resident Evil: Extinction" opened this past Friday. It's the third "Resident Evil" film, but this is the first "Resident Evil" film that I've watched.

Wow! There's nothing believable about anything in this film, but I now understand why so many people have been watching these films. Milla Jovovich stars as the baddest woman who's ever been born. I know there's a lot of talk about the new "Bionic Woman" television show that will debut soon, but no way will the "Bionic Woman" be a match for the star of this "Resident Evil" franchise. This is fun stuff, folks. Zombies, a crazy doctor, and a beautiful woman that you'd like to make love with, but you damn sure wouldn't ever want to mess with!

"GOSSIP GIRL" AND "BACK TO YOU":

I finally saw two new television shows that debuted last Wednesday.

Josh Schwartz was the creator of a show called "The O.C" that I saw every episode of. All the young people were unknowns, but this show made them household names.

I think that the same thing will happen to Schwartz's new show, "Gossip Girl", which in on CW, Wednesday nights at 9. Blake Lively plays "Serena" and after about 20 minutes, I was in love with her. Penn Badgley plays Dan,a loner who believes that no one knows who he is or cares who he is. Because of one of those accidental situations that can change a person's life, Dan ends up on a "date" with Serena, something that a mother and father in this show are arching their eyebrows over, a young man who has feelings for Serena is concerned about and a young woman who doesn't like Serena...Well, you get the idea. Another good teenage soap opera and I'm already hooked.

"Back To You" debuted on Fox, Wednesday night at 8. It stars Kelsey Grammer, Patricia Heaton and Fred Willard. It's about a newsroom in Pittsburgh. I think this has the potential of being a huge hit! Yes, as you would expect, Grammer, Heaton and Willard are funny. But what you wouldn't expect is what figures to be an added dimension to this show. The first episode of "Back To You" ended with the Grammer character meeting an off the charts adorable 10-year old girl who the Grammer character has just found out is his daughter and that the Heaton character is her mother. And we see that the adorable 10-year old girl obviously likes the Grammer character, but she doesn't know that he's her daddy!

"Back To You"? Oh, yeah! I'm back to my television set tuned to Fox, Wednesday nights at 8!

EDITOR'S NOTE: A new blog is written every morning, Monday through Friday and is posted between 7 and 7:15, Pacific Time. Sometimes earlier. Questions and comments can be sent to scottstjames@sbcglobal.net. I do write back.

TOMORROW: The shocking high cost of milk and anything else that makes me say, "Whaaaat?!?"