Tuesday, April 24, 2007

ONE PIECE OF TOILET PAPER?!?

A lot was made of the attempt made by singer Sheryl Crow and producer Laurie David to engage Karl Rove in dialogue about global warming this past Saturday night. First of all, am I the only one who thinks Crow and David are a cute couple and what guy in his right mind wouldn't WELCOME an opportunity to have "face time" with those two? But Karl Rove is his own breed of cat. One of those "silent assassin" types that only a psychiatrist would probably enjoy conversing with and even THAT conversation would be for the purpose of a "study" of Karl Rove.

Karl Rove is a guy who doesn't converse with people when he's been asked to testify "off the record" about the latest White House shenanigans that have his fingerprints all over them.

Bottom line? Don't be offended, Sheryl Crow and Laurie David. You were simply welcomed to "Karl's World".

And speaking of "bottoms".....Sheryl Crow believes if we cut down our use of toilet paper, we would be helping the environment. I don't pretend to be any kind of environmental expert, so I'm willing to take her word for it, but there's one other thing she said that I can't get out of my mind. Sheryl Crow said something like, "If we would just use ONE piece of toilet paper...."

WHOA!!! Maybe this is another one of those great female mysteries I've yet to figure out, but speaking as a GUY, when I'm sittin' on the pot and it's time to begin the bottom cleaning process, one piece of toilet paper does nothing but get a hand messy. And after I've used that one piece of toilet paper, I'm supposed to do what? Wash my hand and go out in public? Trust me, Sheryl. If I do THAT, and you come to ME to talk about global warming, after one WHIFF of me, it'll be YOU who walks away.

Speaking of people we tend to walk away from, I call your attention to homeless people. We can't escape them. Maybe people in Beverly Hills and other walled off communities can escape them, but the rest of us can't. When I used to work at CBS in Hollywood, I would take an early morning break and walk down Sunset Boulevard to a fast food place. I would always see people sleeping up against buildings and I'd say (softly to myself), "There but for the grace of God, go I." A lot of 'em were veterans. Cast aside with their demons like veterans we've read about recently in the highly publicized veterans' health care scandal.

I live in the San Fernando Valley. The Burbank, North Hollywood, Studio City, Toluca Lake, Valley Village area. The police have done a good job keeping the homeless out of our sight here except for (mostly) the early morning hours when what you see (if you bother to look) is heartbreaking. But most people DON'T look. If you want to see eyes that move faster than you thought possible, watch a person who has just seen a homeless person. A couple of days ago, I saw something I hadn't seen before. A homeless couple with a shopping cart filled with items they had gotten from dumpsters. He looked very clean and she was wearing makeup. And they were (arguably) over the top polite.

And I couldn't help but think that was their silent way of saying, "Can you see me NOW?!?"

I don't have a solution for the homeless problem, but it's not going to go away. In fact, it figures to get worse. A LOT worse. It's easy to look at these people like bums. People who are too lazy to work. And some of 'em probably are bums. But most of 'em? I don't think so.
Most of our homeless people have caught a bad break or a series of bad breaks along the way and in this country where we have more people making more money than ever thought (previously) possible, to ignore this problem is unforgivable. For you see, "There but for the grace of God, go YOU!!!"

Other items...Did you see Sanjaya doing the "Top Ten" list with David Letterman last night? It looked like they might have to call security to get Sanjaya off the stage, didn't it?

Did you see last night's episode of "24"? Man, that show can stretch all things credible, can't it? And I can hardly wait for NEXT Monday's episode.

For those of us here in the Los Angeles area, we'll be paying attention to two of our favorite sports figures tonight. Shaq and what he does in his game with Miami and Kobe and what he does in his game with the Lakers. And whether or not Miami and the Lakers are able to WIN their games.

Tomorrow:

Regis Philbin

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