WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS THAT LEAD TO THE REMOVAL OF OUR UNDERWEAR, NOT MANY OF US PASS THE "SMELL TEST"!!!

And now that I have your attention...

I know. What does he (me) mean by that?!?

I'm referring to the Mayor of Los Angeles and his most recent relief provider.

Mayor Antonio "Hound Dog Man" Villaraigosa and his local television newscaster "friend", Mirthala Salinas.

After what was described as a complete investigation by KVEA-TV officials who were looking into possible conflict of interest and news ethics violations, the determination was made to suspend Mirthala Salinas for two months without pay. KVEA's News Director was also suspended for two months without pay. The station's General Manager was sent to another location and the highest ranking person, a person who oversees 16 stations, was given a reprimand.

Translation: The News Director was expendable, the 16-station overseer was not and Mirthala Salinas will continue to be judged while she serves her unpaid suspension.

No one has said anything about there having been a problem with the affair itself, because that's where we are these days.

That's what I was referring to with my "Smell Test" inclusion in the headline above.

The Mayor and the newscaster are "playahs", folks. If that isn't obvious, someone hasn't been paying attention.

Mayor "Hound Dog Man" likes whacha call, the occasional "change" in his life. It might involve one night, a week, whatever. But another change will be on the horizon.

Newscaster Salinas has "social climber" written all over her. I mean, look at the people we know that she's fooled around with. She definitely likes her politicians, doesn't she?

But before any of us gets all "high and mighty" here, can we please pause for a second and look in the mirror. Unless you've lived the life of a saint or you're a person who for whatever reason or reasons doesn't like sex, how many of us have woken up the next morning with the following words burning in our brain; "What the bleep was I thinking?!?"

Examples:

One night stands with people you have no interest in having conversations with.

You sleep with a person who is dating your best friend.

You sleep with a person who is married to your best friend.

For whatever reason, the only people you want or can sleep with are people who are married. For some, that's known as a "safety zone". Until you get caught. And ya know what? Some people get a rush out of being caught, which is something that eventually leads to more billable hours for psychiatrists and psychologists and something else for Dr. Laura to talk about.

Relationships, good and bad, are probably the most exasperating things any of us deal with.

Why does Mayor "Hound Dog Man" have trouble keeping his pants on? Who knows?

Why does Mirthala Salinas seem to have a thing for politicians? Who knows?

Why do people like you and me do the things we do or have done that caused us to say, "What the bleep was I thinking?" Who knows?

It's the "smell test", baby. Whether you're down and out or part of the high and mighty, when confronted with the "smell test", there are very few of us who haven't flunked!

SPEAKING OF THE "HIGH AND MIGHTY":

Do they come any higher or mightier than Oprah Winfrey?

Now before I go any further, I've never met Oprah, but what I've seen of her, I like. A lot! And I know I'm not alone.

Having said that...

Have you been hearing the whispers about the teen age crush look in Oprah's eyes when she's near or is talking about presidential candidate Barack Obama? We've all heard about this big campaign donations party for Obama that Oprah is hosting in her Santa Barbara mansion on the 8th of next month, but is there more to this? Obama has been married for 15 years to a beautiful lawyer, who's also very ambitious. Her ambition could cause her to turn a blind eye to perceived harmless flirtation coming from someone (Oprah) who has the capability of generating big campaign bucks and influencing voters to cast votes for her husband. But once again, two words can't help but rear their ugly heads. Smell Test!!!

NO SMELL TEST REQUIRED FOR "THE BOURNE ULTIMATUM":

First of all, I'm a big fan of the late Robert Ludlum. When I heard that Matt Damon had been cast to play Jason Bourne in the first "Bourne" film, I said, "You've got to be kidding!" But when I saw the first Bourne film with Matt Damon, I said, "Wow!"

I didn't like the second Bourne film as much, but I'm really looking forward to seeing "The Bourne Ultimatum" which opens in theatres today. I mean, every single review I've read is giving this film the highest of high ratings! "The Bourne Ultimatum" is being described as a non-stop thrill ride and I'm gettin' ready to sit down in my favorite cineplex with a big ol' box of buttered popcorn!

EDITOR'S NOTE: A new blog is written every morning, Monday through Friday and is posted between 7 and 7:15, Pacific Time. Sometimes earlier. Questions and comments can be sent to scottstjames@sbcglobal.net. I do write back.

MONDAY: If Barry Bonds has tied and or broken Hank Aaron's home run record, we'll talk about that along with anything else that makes me say, "Whaaaat?!?

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND EVERYBODY!!!