Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Don't Touch My JUNK? Former CNN Anchor, Patrick Emory Has A Solution!!!

And by the way, Happy Thanksgiving!!!

You have obviously seen the headline above before reading what you're reading now.

Let me tell you a little something about Patrick Emory.

I met Patrick when he was leaving a radio station in San Jose, California (KLIV) and I was just beginning. That's right. Same day. He took one look at me and said, "I'm outta here!"

That turned out to be a great decision for Patrick Emory because he was born to be on television. I might not be familiar with all the places he anchored television news at, but I know for certain about three such places. St. Louis (when I was there), here in Los Angeles and he was known nationally for many years while anchoring news for CNN during their "glory days".

When he showed up in St. Louis in the late 70's, I was on the radio in that city. In fact, we were in the same building. Patrick was on the television floor and I was on the radio floor. Both stations were CBS stations.

Patrick Emory was an instant hit in St. Louis. Especially with the women. He had movie star "looks" and every guy in town did their best to keep their women out of sight range of this guy. Because Patrick, before he settled down, was a bit of a "hound dog man". Well actually, a little more than "a bit". Okay, a lot more!

I didn't see Patrick while we were both in St. Louis because shortly after he arrived, I left there to come here to Los Angeles.

Looking back and remembering the San Jose days and then the St. Louis days, it seems that Patrick Emory and I had an "inner feeling" that we were probably unaware of that stated (in essence) that whatever town we were in wasn't big enough for both of us.

Many years have passed since those San Jose and St. Louis years. He's happily living in Florida, I'm happily living here in Los Angeles and we are constantly in touch with each other, email wise. He's on one end of the United States, I'm on the other end and we get along famously.

There has been a lot of talk recently about search procedures at airports. As we all know, one guy got famous for telling a human body scanner to not "touch his junk" or there would be hell to pay.

A few days ago, Patrick Emory sent me what he thinks would be the perfect solution to all the controversy over full-body scanners at the airports and I agree with Patrick Emory. If this idea he sent me would be implemented, I believe this is something we would all be thankful for on Thanksgiving Day and every other day.

There are rumors about this idea having been perfected by and used by other countries already, but after doing a lot of checking up on this, I have found no credible evidence to back up those rumors.

Here's hoping that this will become a reality. And here comes what that "this" American airport security idea is.

Have a booth that you can step into that will not x-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your body. It would be a win-win for everyone and there would be none of this crap about racial profiling and this method would eliminate a long and expensive trial. Justice would be quick and swift. This is so simple that it's brilliant. I can see it now. You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion.

Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system: "Attention standby passengers. We now have a seat available on flight number 4665. Paging Maintenance. Shop Vac needed in booth number 4."

Sure sounds like a win-win to ME!!!

And me too, Patrick Emory.

Okay, I want to be clear on something here. I'm not saying this is Patrick Emory's idea or that it isn't Patrick Emory's idea. I don't know and I didn't ask him. What I do know is that he sent this to me and I LOVE the idea. Is there a realistic chance of an idea like this being approved?!? Honestly, probably not. Buuuut....If the people who have the authority to implement this idea would sell it in a way to convince people that everyone would be warned over and over again that if they're going to try to board one of our planes that they will have to go into one of our special booths before they board. And if they're carrying explosives even in places like in their stomach or in their rear ends (as in assholes), the machine in the booth will know and will automatically react. And after the reaction? A vacuum cleaner will remove the body dust.

Short Blog this week and here are some "quick hits":

If a person comes to an American airport and he is wearing a turban and a beard, don't you think he should be "profiled"?

Why is it that it seems like we're always hearing new ways to give free stuff to illegal immigrants, but there don't seem to be new (or old) ways to get them the hell out of this country?

First there was the con-man known as "Curveball" who suckered the Bush administration into spending who knows how much money for a fraudulent war in Iraq. Including, of course, money for him, "Curveball". That was bad enough, but now another con-man in Afghanistan who claimed to be a high level Taliban Commander, seems to have suckered the great General Petraeus, Afghanistan President Karzai and people in the Obama adminstration. In addition to spending who knows much money on this idiotic war for more years than any war we've ever been in, this con-man has been getting money and free plane trips from us for convincing our people that the war was about to end and we (our troops) will soon be able to go home.

Question: What the hell has happened to what used to be known as a great "intelligence operation" in our country? Have they all gotten suddenly dumb or are they being overruled at the top by people who are dumb and dumber? And if that's the case, it's no wonder that some people think Sarah Palin would be a good president.

Speaking of the Palin's....Bristol didn't win "Dancing with the Stars" and did you pick up on what Bristol said would be super cool for her if she won the "Dancing with the Stars" competition? She said something about how it would be like a large middle finger directed at all the people who hate her mom and all the people who hate her (Bristol) if she won.

Yep, more of that good ol' "family values" thing we keep hearing about from the mouth of "Mama Grizzly".

And how about that new story about Willow Palin? No, I'm talking about the story after the story in which she did the Facebook thing.

Tightrope walkers and train wrecks. It's impossible to keep our eyes off them.


Television wise, it was another great week for "Dexter" on Showtime, "Glee" on Fox and "The Good Wife" on CBS.

There are only 2 or 3 episodes remaining for "Dexter" this season. This has been a great season for "Dexter". I mean a GREAT season!

Same deal(s) with "Glee" and "The Good Wife", but those shows still have multiple episodes before their season ends.

New Movie Alerts:

"Love and other Drugs", starring Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal is now in your favorite Cineplex and so is "Burlesque", starring Cher and Christina Aguilera. I'm very much looking forward to seeing "Love and other Drugs", but something tells me that "Burlesque" is a film that isn't very good.

"How do you Know", starring Reese Witherspoon, Paul Rudd, Owen Wilson and Jack Nicholson will open, December 17. The previews look great and I definitely plan to see it.

"Country Strong", starring Gwyneth Paltrow and Tim McGraw will open, December 22. I thought McGraw was terrific in "Blindside", I'm a big fan of Paltrow's work and I'm looking forward to seeing this film.

Same deal and same opening day (December 22) for "True Grit", starring Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon and Josh Brolin.

Questions and or comments? Write to me at and will respond to you ASAP. Please don't write to the blog because there's no way for me to know your email address and that means I won't be able to respond to you. Again...
and I will respond to you as quickly as possible. All "Anonymous" emails are ignored.

The next Blog? Barring unforeseen circumstances, Late Wednesday night, December 1 or early Thursday morning, December 2.



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